They looked like strong hands too . . .

yeah, nevermind the title.

Alright, alright here's how it went:
I have been enjoying a vacation of sorts from a gap between projects. You know, when you just finished a buttload of work, and you have to start the next project, which takes some time. yeah. That, and a longer weekend. That was spent in St. Georgeous with the family. It was mom's b-day, so we ventured down for a good old time. We laughed and laughed and laughed, had some dang good bbQ, and laughed some more. It was great. On the other hand, I did get sick, which was lame, but it all worked out ok. At least i wasn't sick and dying during school. Just a little sick. :)

Today was the unveiling of the "Mr. Surly" shirt. haha. It was great. For those on the outs, I followed a hair-brained idea, which led to me designing a shirt for a teacher. It turned out pretty cool, (thank goodness) and he seemed to like it.

So, with being sick comes the overload of hand sanitizer, coughdrops, and sweaters. Also comes the silliness that can occur from cough medicine. It seems like i have been laughing all week at nothing, or some things are funnier than they really are. Either that, or i just laugh at how funny my laugh sounds when it sounds like a man. haha. yeah. It's been fun though.

so... yeah. two new projects coming along, one having to do with softball, and the other with my personal favorite, Man Vs. Wild. Yeah, you read it. Bear's back, and I couldn't be any giddier. (maybe that's the cough medicine talking haha).

The dreams rage on. I think i had a certain one for every night last week. Good or bad? I have no idea anymore. they deal with the same things over and over, but in different contexts. I really have tried to ignore them and live life, but it's always in the back somewhere, waiting to jump out and consume me. As much as i have gotten used to this companion of sorts, i really have to let it go, or something i don't want will happen, ruining all the happiness i have. I haven't mentioned too much, but it has to do with school, and the things happening (or not happening) there. I want to keep it cryptic so it stays a secret, but it bugs me, so I'll write about it in a vague sense. who knows. . .I mentioned I had some kind of conclusion before, but i don't know anymore. Maybe that's only part of it.

Hagoone for now, sikis.

A change of heart, with a lot a commentary

my how life comes at you.

uhhh..... well, a lot happened. Nothing too monumental, but significant enough to me. I realized some things about some people I know, and it has been quite humbling to me.

Without saying too much, there were thoughts swirling and doubts made. A near embarassing moment occured, and I worked a lot this week. I attended a footall game, and our side was the victim of crooked referees. I hope they get what's coming to them. All's I'm really trying to say is I hate Dixie high school. That's all there is too it. But anyway.....

I guess it all started Wednesday. Already flustered with certain classes, and the lack of time, a bomb of sorts was dropped, concerning a certain recent project grade. To put it plainly, the paper said I didn't do so good, and I was a little confused. So, I took a chance. After a go-around of sorts, and both sides of the story presented, a general understanding was reached, and I moved on, a little smarter than before. really.

After all that, I ventured to St.George looking to get some homework done. Instead, I got myself emotionally involved with a high school football game, my warriors against the cross-town rivals, Dixie HS, in a showdown for a spot in the state playoffs. As I mentioned before, we were sorely cheated, and now the season is over for them. Karma will come around on them. And i'll be laughing. . . .

Thursday was thursday, a day full of work, and returning back to things that are most important. I enrolled in Institute finally. It's the first time in a year. I must say, it was a little awkward, but it was alright. I think it'll be ok. I really have to get back on track there have been little signs and things everywhere it seems, trying to jumpstart me......of sorts. And, in turn, life has been easier. It's amazing what a little can to for a lot. Which brings me to Friday....


Ahhh... Friday. What a day it was. Swirling thoughts finally became a reality. Some opinions of a beloved professor came up, calling for some kind of change. Me, being the leader, of course took on the daunting task, and without really thinking too much, went to the head of the board. It was confusing more than anything. Both of us expressed all kinds of thoughts, but really didn't get anywhere. It seemed like the problems cleared themselves in that meeting. I learned that there is always more than one persepective.... and all should be considered. It wasn't anything bad or damaging to this person, but it seems there needs to be some kind of change somewhere. We left it at that, until we had more info. I feel weird about it. So,unless I can sway the group, this might go on. I'm not too worried. I wish those with those opinions could have sit in on that conversation. They would have learned a ton. Like me.

So, with that, i was late to class. I was greeted with an unusual 'hello, how are you?'. Confused by the sudden attention, I proceeded to work, wracking my brain for some hope for the current project. I was able to get something together, but we'll see how that fares...

At the end of this class, i was pulled aside, and taken for a walk. The now-familiar 'Don't hit me" was exchanged to try to relax the new-found worry that came over me, given the events that happened earlier this week. All of this suddenly evaporated when the word 'apologize' was spoken. A wave of surprise, confusion, and admiration came over me. We talked for some time about the grade, and talent, and personal stories. A sort of revived trust came over me. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Other things were getting in the way. This was real and heartfelt. I really didn't know what to say. but I was sure greateful. It has stayed with me all day. I guess all i have really wanted from this person was some kind of reassurance, some kind of sign of acceptance, personable and real. I think that's what the dreams i have been complaining of were about, in a wierd kind of sense. (I'm betting).

And so, i can move on, and just be me. I think i may be finally free from the awkward grasp of these dreams. I really appreciate all that happened today. I feel like i have awoken from a really bad dream in itself, and now I can move forward. Thank you .


well, that was my week in a nutshell. Other stuff happened, but i think i have said enough for now. Till next time,

Hagoone sikis.

blahg blahg blahg

hahaha.

good old weekend. . . It was good to get away from the crazy life and take a brake.

I mean, nothing really happened and i didn't go anywhere, but some good old lazytime.
Friday we relaxed and watched a few movies. One of which was 'Dark Water', a pretty good thriller, on SOOO many levels. And just in case the wrong eyes see this, i'll leave it at that.

Saturday was good sleeping in and watching General Conference. Cody's sister and her fam came for a visit. It was so fun. They have a little baby now, so it was good to see her. We are TERRIBLE at the whole baby thing, but it went ok this weekend i suppose. But at this point we definitly decided to wait way longer.(Or, I should say reinforce our decision to wait.)

Yeah..... so school. eh.
Web design made some progress. My dad came over and helped me with some Navajo phrases and words for my project. So now i need to edit it and get that ball rolling. We started a new packaging design thingy. I have in interesting idea... but i just need to figure it out... and get to work on it. It's due in a week. sick. Time will not give me a break.

Don't even get me started on that actionscript.....

yeah... this week will be interesting. Two tests tomorrow, some other stuff i really don't want to think about..... goodness. Alls i want is more time.

Please??


In other things, no current dreams to report. Or at lest nothing earth-shattering. The battle rages on. I'm neither winning or losing. I just don't know anymore. I can't give in though. I just can't. I have been trying so hard, to give in would be devastating . All for temporary satisfaction too.

No, i can't.
sorry.

So, we'll keep moving on. Like normal.

Hagoone.

You know what REALLY grinds my gears??

But don't take my word for it.

So...... the last week up to now has been a blur, and a headache. It seems like one thing after another happens... and before you know it, it's midnight.

All the time.

Burdened with one thing after another.... and no time to do anything in. It's not so much the homework or the work, but it's all the little things in between that kill the day, making life otherwise impossible. The end of last week was a doozy.

At the tail-end of the life of a packaging design project, Em and mom came up on Fri. Timing-ly peaking, I should have stayed and worked out all the bugs, but instead I stole away, and random questions were answered about printing and paper concerns. Cedar high was the place, and windy was the scene. Em ran as fast as the wind, and did great. Mom was there... and we went to dinner. Cody and I food shopped, and then crashed. Sunday was sunday, leaving me to obsess and worry about my lame project. (what happened to Saturday??)

Efforts to finish this project was worhtless, as everything seemed to set me back further, no matter what happened. Flash forward: BLACK MONDAY:

ooooooooooooook. Black Monday.

The day started at 8am. I woke up, and took off to make some changes. Once the changes were made, it was off to the savior, Image Pro (Staples failed me again). After that, I scurried off an appointment with 3 designers, and a camera. After a go-around and a good, and great debate over my portfolio, and a truckload of smalltalk, the photos snapped, i literally ran to my next class. I spent the rest of the time constructing rather quickly, my squish imaginings, as carefully as possible. Towards the end of the allotted time patience was running thin, and so was the clock. I regret the mess, but i rushed to class, and barely made it. Clearly miffed, and annoyed at all that happened, life went on. Another mess. I'm over it now, but man was it lame earlier.

whew. This week better be good. OR else.


Anyway, so the dreams. Another one came.

it was not pleasant. There a couple of possible links, so I'm not that worried. It had to do with something that happened over the weekend with someone else..... and another part with thoughts randomly being thought. They sort of came together, and wha-la! an awkward dream. Regarding the same old stuff . Yeah, yeah, the rabbit.

ok......WAY too much going on here.

Hagoone.