my how life comes at you.
uhhh..... well, a lot happened. Nothing too monumental, but significant enough to me. I realized some things about some people I know, and it has been quite humbling to me.
Without saying too much, there were thoughts swirling and doubts made. A near embarassing moment occured, and I worked a lot this week. I attended a footall game, and our side was the victim of crooked referees. I hope they get what's coming to them. All's I'm really trying to say is I hate Dixie high school. That's all there is too it. But anyway.....
I guess it all started Wednesday. Already flustered with certain classes, and the lack of time, a bomb of sorts was dropped, concerning a certain recent project grade. To put it plainly, the paper said I didn't do so good, and I was a little confused. So, I took a chance. After a go-around of sorts, and both sides of the story presented, a general understanding was reached, and I moved on, a little smarter than before. really.
After all that, I ventured to St.George looking to get some homework done. Instead, I got myself emotionally involved with a high school football game, my warriors against the cross-town rivals, Dixie HS, in a showdown for a spot in the state playoffs. As I mentioned before, we were sorely cheated, and now the season is over for them. Karma will come around on them. And i'll be laughing. . . .
Thursday was thursday, a day full of work, and returning back to things that are most important. I enrolled in Institute finally. It's the first time in a year. I must say, it was a little awkward, but it was alright. I think it'll be ok. I really have to get back on track there have been little signs and things everywhere it seems, trying to jumpstart me......of sorts. And, in turn, life has been easier. It's amazing what a little can to for a lot. Which brings me to Friday....
Ahhh... Friday. What a day it was. Swirling thoughts finally became a reality. Some opinions of a beloved professor came up, calling for some kind of change. Me, being the leader, of course took on the daunting task, and without really thinking too much, went to the head of the board. It was confusing more than anything. Both of us expressed all kinds of thoughts, but really didn't get anywhere. It seemed like the problems cleared themselves in that meeting. I learned that there is always more than one persepective.... and all should be considered. It wasn't anything bad or damaging to this person, but it seems there needs to be some kind of change somewhere. We left it at that, until we had more info. I feel weird about it. So,unless I can sway the group, this might go on. I'm not too worried. I wish those with those opinions could have sit in on that conversation. They would have learned a ton. Like me.
So, with that, i was late to class. I was greeted with an unusual 'hello, how are you?'. Confused by the sudden attention, I proceeded to work, wracking my brain for some hope for the current project. I was able to get something together, but we'll see how that fares...
At the end of this class, i was pulled aside, and taken for a walk. The now-familiar 'Don't hit me" was exchanged to try to relax the new-found worry that came over me, given the events that happened earlier this week. All of this suddenly evaporated when the word 'apologize' was spoken. A wave of surprise, confusion, and admiration came over me. We talked for some time about the grade, and talent, and personal stories. A sort of revived trust came over me. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Other things were getting in the way. This was real and heartfelt. I really didn't know what to say. but I was sure greateful. It has stayed with me all day. I guess all i have really wanted from this person was some kind of reassurance, some kind of sign of acceptance, personable and real. I think that's what the dreams i have been complaining of were about, in a wierd kind of sense. (I'm betting).
And so, i can move on, and just be me. I think i may be finally free from the awkward grasp of these dreams. I really appreciate all that happened today. I feel like i have awoken from a really bad dream in itself, and now I can move forward. Thank you .
well, that was my week in a nutshell. Other stuff happened, but i think i have said enough for now. Till next time,
Hagoone sikis.
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