They looked like strong hands too . . .

yeah, nevermind the title.

Alright, alright here's how it went:
I have been enjoying a vacation of sorts from a gap between projects. You know, when you just finished a buttload of work, and you have to start the next project, which takes some time. yeah. That, and a longer weekend. That was spent in St. Georgeous with the family. It was mom's b-day, so we ventured down for a good old time. We laughed and laughed and laughed, had some dang good bbQ, and laughed some more. It was great. On the other hand, I did get sick, which was lame, but it all worked out ok. At least i wasn't sick and dying during school. Just a little sick. :)

Today was the unveiling of the "Mr. Surly" shirt. haha. It was great. For those on the outs, I followed a hair-brained idea, which led to me designing a shirt for a teacher. It turned out pretty cool, (thank goodness) and he seemed to like it.

So, with being sick comes the overload of hand sanitizer, coughdrops, and sweaters. Also comes the silliness that can occur from cough medicine. It seems like i have been laughing all week at nothing, or some things are funnier than they really are. Either that, or i just laugh at how funny my laugh sounds when it sounds like a man. haha. yeah. It's been fun though.

so... yeah. two new projects coming along, one having to do with softball, and the other with my personal favorite, Man Vs. Wild. Yeah, you read it. Bear's back, and I couldn't be any giddier. (maybe that's the cough medicine talking haha).

The dreams rage on. I think i had a certain one for every night last week. Good or bad? I have no idea anymore. they deal with the same things over and over, but in different contexts. I really have tried to ignore them and live life, but it's always in the back somewhere, waiting to jump out and consume me. As much as i have gotten used to this companion of sorts, i really have to let it go, or something i don't want will happen, ruining all the happiness i have. I haven't mentioned too much, but it has to do with school, and the things happening (or not happening) there. I want to keep it cryptic so it stays a secret, but it bugs me, so I'll write about it in a vague sense. who knows. . .I mentioned I had some kind of conclusion before, but i don't know anymore. Maybe that's only part of it.

Hagoone for now, sikis.

A change of heart, with a lot a commentary

my how life comes at you.

uhhh..... well, a lot happened. Nothing too monumental, but significant enough to me. I realized some things about some people I know, and it has been quite humbling to me.

Without saying too much, there were thoughts swirling and doubts made. A near embarassing moment occured, and I worked a lot this week. I attended a footall game, and our side was the victim of crooked referees. I hope they get what's coming to them. All's I'm really trying to say is I hate Dixie high school. That's all there is too it. But anyway.....

I guess it all started Wednesday. Already flustered with certain classes, and the lack of time, a bomb of sorts was dropped, concerning a certain recent project grade. To put it plainly, the paper said I didn't do so good, and I was a little confused. So, I took a chance. After a go-around of sorts, and both sides of the story presented, a general understanding was reached, and I moved on, a little smarter than before. really.

After all that, I ventured to St.George looking to get some homework done. Instead, I got myself emotionally involved with a high school football game, my warriors against the cross-town rivals, Dixie HS, in a showdown for a spot in the state playoffs. As I mentioned before, we were sorely cheated, and now the season is over for them. Karma will come around on them. And i'll be laughing. . . .

Thursday was thursday, a day full of work, and returning back to things that are most important. I enrolled in Institute finally. It's the first time in a year. I must say, it was a little awkward, but it was alright. I think it'll be ok. I really have to get back on track there have been little signs and things everywhere it seems, trying to jumpstart me......of sorts. And, in turn, life has been easier. It's amazing what a little can to for a lot. Which brings me to Friday....


Ahhh... Friday. What a day it was. Swirling thoughts finally became a reality. Some opinions of a beloved professor came up, calling for some kind of change. Me, being the leader, of course took on the daunting task, and without really thinking too much, went to the head of the board. It was confusing more than anything. Both of us expressed all kinds of thoughts, but really didn't get anywhere. It seemed like the problems cleared themselves in that meeting. I learned that there is always more than one persepective.... and all should be considered. It wasn't anything bad or damaging to this person, but it seems there needs to be some kind of change somewhere. We left it at that, until we had more info. I feel weird about it. So,unless I can sway the group, this might go on. I'm not too worried. I wish those with those opinions could have sit in on that conversation. They would have learned a ton. Like me.

So, with that, i was late to class. I was greeted with an unusual 'hello, how are you?'. Confused by the sudden attention, I proceeded to work, wracking my brain for some hope for the current project. I was able to get something together, but we'll see how that fares...

At the end of this class, i was pulled aside, and taken for a walk. The now-familiar 'Don't hit me" was exchanged to try to relax the new-found worry that came over me, given the events that happened earlier this week. All of this suddenly evaporated when the word 'apologize' was spoken. A wave of surprise, confusion, and admiration came over me. We talked for some time about the grade, and talent, and personal stories. A sort of revived trust came over me. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Other things were getting in the way. This was real and heartfelt. I really didn't know what to say. but I was sure greateful. It has stayed with me all day. I guess all i have really wanted from this person was some kind of reassurance, some kind of sign of acceptance, personable and real. I think that's what the dreams i have been complaining of were about, in a wierd kind of sense. (I'm betting).

And so, i can move on, and just be me. I think i may be finally free from the awkward grasp of these dreams. I really appreciate all that happened today. I feel like i have awoken from a really bad dream in itself, and now I can move forward. Thank you .


well, that was my week in a nutshell. Other stuff happened, but i think i have said enough for now. Till next time,

Hagoone sikis.

blahg blahg blahg

hahaha.

good old weekend. . . It was good to get away from the crazy life and take a brake.

I mean, nothing really happened and i didn't go anywhere, but some good old lazytime.
Friday we relaxed and watched a few movies. One of which was 'Dark Water', a pretty good thriller, on SOOO many levels. And just in case the wrong eyes see this, i'll leave it at that.

Saturday was good sleeping in and watching General Conference. Cody's sister and her fam came for a visit. It was so fun. They have a little baby now, so it was good to see her. We are TERRIBLE at the whole baby thing, but it went ok this weekend i suppose. But at this point we definitly decided to wait way longer.(Or, I should say reinforce our decision to wait.)

Yeah..... so school. eh.
Web design made some progress. My dad came over and helped me with some Navajo phrases and words for my project. So now i need to edit it and get that ball rolling. We started a new packaging design thingy. I have in interesting idea... but i just need to figure it out... and get to work on it. It's due in a week. sick. Time will not give me a break.

Don't even get me started on that actionscript.....

yeah... this week will be interesting. Two tests tomorrow, some other stuff i really don't want to think about..... goodness. Alls i want is more time.

Please??


In other things, no current dreams to report. Or at lest nothing earth-shattering. The battle rages on. I'm neither winning or losing. I just don't know anymore. I can't give in though. I just can't. I have been trying so hard, to give in would be devastating . All for temporary satisfaction too.

No, i can't.
sorry.

So, we'll keep moving on. Like normal.

Hagoone.

You know what REALLY grinds my gears??

But don't take my word for it.

So...... the last week up to now has been a blur, and a headache. It seems like one thing after another happens... and before you know it, it's midnight.

All the time.

Burdened with one thing after another.... and no time to do anything in. It's not so much the homework or the work, but it's all the little things in between that kill the day, making life otherwise impossible. The end of last week was a doozy.

At the tail-end of the life of a packaging design project, Em and mom came up on Fri. Timing-ly peaking, I should have stayed and worked out all the bugs, but instead I stole away, and random questions were answered about printing and paper concerns. Cedar high was the place, and windy was the scene. Em ran as fast as the wind, and did great. Mom was there... and we went to dinner. Cody and I food shopped, and then crashed. Sunday was sunday, leaving me to obsess and worry about my lame project. (what happened to Saturday??)

Efforts to finish this project was worhtless, as everything seemed to set me back further, no matter what happened. Flash forward: BLACK MONDAY:

ooooooooooooook. Black Monday.

The day started at 8am. I woke up, and took off to make some changes. Once the changes were made, it was off to the savior, Image Pro (Staples failed me again). After that, I scurried off an appointment with 3 designers, and a camera. After a go-around and a good, and great debate over my portfolio, and a truckload of smalltalk, the photos snapped, i literally ran to my next class. I spent the rest of the time constructing rather quickly, my squish imaginings, as carefully as possible. Towards the end of the allotted time patience was running thin, and so was the clock. I regret the mess, but i rushed to class, and barely made it. Clearly miffed, and annoyed at all that happened, life went on. Another mess. I'm over it now, but man was it lame earlier.

whew. This week better be good. OR else.


Anyway, so the dreams. Another one came.

it was not pleasant. There a couple of possible links, so I'm not that worried. It had to do with something that happened over the weekend with someone else..... and another part with thoughts randomly being thought. They sort of came together, and wha-la! an awkward dream. Regarding the same old stuff . Yeah, yeah, the rabbit.

ok......WAY too much going on here.

Hagoone.

prettymuch.

doooode.
It's the 24th. Micheal's birthday, and the end of the birthday frenzy.

School, is now mostly under control, making life a lot easier. The goove finally cometh.
So many little stupid things happen, that would be pretty funny to mention, but they are usually forgotten about a couple of minutes later.

They were good ones too. . .

oh well. still the work, still the school, still little play. This weekend was rain-filled. It really doesn't get any better than that.

Work is SO much fun. really. I mean, what we do is pretty boring, but the atmosphere is the best. when we aren't laughing, we are working...or is it the other way around?? who knows.

Emily's got a meet this weekend. yes. mom is coming to visit too, which cannot come soon enough. I'm working with dad on a web II project. it's exciting. he got all excited when i told him what i was doing, and had all this info..... yes. this will be good.

It's getting colder outside. Lame.

my good friend Daniel will be back at SUU pretty soon. that'll be a happy day too.

sooooooo.... The dreams. annoyances. monkey on my back.
They are around, but not so much, or so threatning. I just deal, and forget. Nothing has come about so much to make me remember so much.

I think i'm winning.

But the battle's not over yet. the sense is indeed still tingling, but it's enough to keep life interesting, and me on my toes.

cody cody is well. we see each other on the weekends. but we live in the same house?
haha. it'll be like this for sometime, until, someone's schedule changes. it's alright, but gets old. like i'm by myself sometimes. not cool. cause that's when the battle rages on. Like it's supposed to i guess.

hmmm.... what other ramblings can i pull from recent memory?


. . .


eh, that's a for now i guess.

hagoone.

Time takes time alone

Ahhhh yeah.

The end of the day.


The first week of school almost kicked my butt. Almost. I think my biggest struggle will be the new-found balance (or lack of) between school and work. Gotta work on that one. I get the work done just fine, and then get bored. It's the whole homework and getting it done part, mixed with the gotta eat part, and the gotta sleep part. Poor Cody, I feel like I haven't seen him in a while. He's about on the same schedule I am.

So, today I presented my web 2 dealio. I gambled and went with a man vs. wild theme. haha. Now, i never really talk about design, let alone my OWN work, but I thought this one was a real doozy. I enjoyed it. and it looks good. ok. enough gloating now. :)

haha. so I hiked Angel's Landing yesterday. Holy goodness.

i'm paying for it now by walking funny because of stiff muscles. it was so fun though, getting out and getting tan too. :) Zion really is one of those places i could never get tired of.

So, almost a week and no dream. It's a good thing. right? i think so. I broke down and wrote them down, to try to make a connection, or something. Maybe it'll come in handy when this mess blows up in my face. As for now, and real life. I'm trying to play it cool. Forget about it even. what a terrible waste it would be to live in awkward forever, and it really wasn't that big of a deal in the first place. I'm going to look pretty silly.... we'll just have to see.

hagoone for now.

Sea Legs

"yeah, yeah the rabbit".

School at Southern Utah university is officially underway. And i couldn't be more excited.
My classes are going to be fun, but hectic, and i'll be working in addition to that. It's a little odd though, prolly cause i usually don't have to work while school is in, but whatever. At least it's a design job.
The dreams keep coming back. why? I thought i was over it, or it over me. I really would like to know what's going on. but it's complicated. So, i guess i'll just leave it at that. The bad dreams i mean. The daydreams aren't as vivid, which is good and bad. SOOOO cryptic.....

haha. so life is good. Living and working and school. It's really the best. I'm sad this is the last year. I don't know what i'm going to do with myself afterwards. Maybe i'll get lucky and get a cool design job. who knows. Just don't say the 'kid' word.

hagoone for now.

lawn gnome readers be wary...

well well well.

i hate the gnome! hate hate hate him. he doesn't speak english and talks about computers all day. and i liked my job too....

ok, so a little tired today and work really isn't THAT bad. But this project really sucks.
School is starting again in a week. so crazy. my last fall semester (for now). i'm excited for school to start and see my buddies and dive into some real design work.
We moved and all that goodness. The 1 year anniversary was on saturday. Cody's parents came for the weekend and it was so much fun. good times.
ok. so i love to daydream... a little too much. but it's fun to escape into a whole 'nother' world and enjoy it. heh heh heh. what, do i waste my time thinking about??

well well well.
love ya. :}

well well well.

i hate the gnome! hate hate hate him. he doesn't speak english and talks about computers all day. and i liked my job too....

ok, so a little tired today and work really isn't THAT bad. But this project really sucks.
School is starting again in a week. so crazy. my last fall semester (for now). i'm excited for school to start and see my buddies and dive into some real design work.
We moved and all that goodness. The 1 year anniversary was on saturday. Cody's parents came for the weekend and it was so much fun. good times.
ok. so i love to daydream... a little too much. but it's fun to escape into a whole 'nother' world and enjoy it. heh heh heh. what, do i waste my time thinking about??

well well well.
love ya. :}

"And i say to myself... what a wonderful world"

ok, so like a month later, but whatever.
Here's the scoop, poop.
I'm working at Learnkey, as a graphic designer. Sounds glamorous, i know but it's not. just work work work, and some quality play. the play is when i get to design something. that's how it is.
Right now I'm taking about 9 credits worth of summer classes, which is turning out to be pretty lame, as expected. I'm taking comm 1010, or speech 101, as i call it. then there's csis 1000, a computer basics class, which is online, which isn't too bad. Then at my job i'm getting some internship credit, which is pretty sweet.
I'm still in Cedar city, and living the stressed life. working all the time, trying to keep my precious scholarship, and trying to move before the fall semester starts again. Thank goodness for harry potter and man vs. wild, or life would be so boring. Good book so far, i'm liking it. as for the bear, haha...(i'll leave that up for interpretation).
yep yep....

coming soon...

it's coming, i promise.

You're not in love

so, life has been pretty crazy since the last post. I got married, and am getting there with school. I ended up marrying Cody, from the previous post, and i love it.
i cannot wait for school to be done. life has certainly been too hectic for all that i do. I need a break.
In lamer news, erin is getting married. That's so dumb. I don't think she knows what she is doing, but whatever. I struggle with it, i think because i don't think it's right. you can't just marry the first guy you start dating. seriously. i really think there is something a lot better out there for her, and she's just passing it by because she thinks she's in love. whatever. so lame.
Other than that, life is prettymuch perfect.

until next time,
clare campbell

A walking soap opera--BOYS BEWARE!!

so, I can't remember the last time I posted, but let me try to fill in the blanks: I went to college, and love it, and I worked at Urban Labs for a second, then got layed off, Ulysses likes me still, but quit smoking which i think is the best thing ever! I had a run-around with a cute cowboy, but that ended as quick as it started, but we are still friends. One of my good friends, Rob, is away, and we were something, but i quess that won't count anymore. Now, something is developing with his best friend, Cody, to whom i have always liked. So, with that I am excited, and feel it is fun, and excititing for now. Normally I avoid anykind of closeness, and potential committment, but for some reason, I am just going for it. It may not seem fair to the others, especially Rob, but things happen in wierd ways, what can I say? Other than that, things are well, and I am just moving along. Spiritually, I am learning more and more about faith and just going on an impression, rather than just trying to justify it, or make sense of it. I love having the spirit with me, and feel its one of my closest friends....awesomeness all around!

what day is it? and what month? this clock never seemed so alive...

well well well, it seems like this summer has gone by soo fast--amlost like ablur. For one, I have worked and worked, and recently quit one of my jobs. But i'm still at Fazoli's , and the crazy crew. I am bored,. and going out of town soon...yay to cali for a second. soo excited for school to start. good times and great oldies.
As for the boys, I think I am about fed up. I mean, there's this one guy, we'll call him the goshute, and he's nice and all, but I'm not interested in that way, you know? it's like the James thing all over again. (sigh), andthen there's this fun Rm, but I can't decide anything on him yet. yeah.
well, i'm all kinds of tired, so Hagoone.

did you say sandy lame-o?

I work. That's all. by the way, I am sooo excited for Daniel!!! that is soo awesome and exciting. By the way, i love your pic.

hagoone

Update: With Tom Brokaw

Hey there. So, just as I predicted, my quest for a decent job has fallen to my "connections" yet again. I am currently working at Gen-X Clothing here in St.G. It's not too bad, but a little different from 'the Urb' in Cedar City. I miss it too. Sad. Anyway, with that, I work there in the afternoons, and in the mornings, I now work at 'ol reliable Fazoli's, the Italian Restaurant. I'll be doing prep work and all that jazz. Heck yes. Also, finding a decent car and apartment isn't that easy either. I think I've found an apartment or cottage for me and my friends, Becky and Caitlin. it'll be pretty sweet if we can get in. As for the car...we'll have to see. There's a 2000 Saturn I can get, but i'm thinking.....who knows. Well, that's about all for now..nothing's really happened.
Can anyone help me? I have like, 3 bosses, and 2 of them like me! ew. they are both like 25, and kinda not ideal for what i'm looking for. They are fun people, i would just rather not date them. 'nuf said I think. anyway, gots to go, but take care, and Daniel, I advise you to BE STRONG!!! Nascar can be avoided when taking the proper steps and aviodence. It'll be ok. Trust me. Haha
--Hagoone!

Hey, it's me! wowee! 

not quite the country song...but sad enough

So, Becky is gone, and I am sad! But I still have DANIEL. It was my last day of work today, but i'm glad. I checkout tomorrow @ 4. I need to make sure to remember DANIEL, so I can say bye to DANIEL... I am so tired, but I still have to study for 2 finals for tomorrow. Sick. But before I go, I must say I and make mention to DANIEL!!!!!!!!!! :P

Hagoone.

Finals Week Really is Final...huh.

heeey. It's been a while, but what can you do? It's finals week, and the finals themselves are fine--it's just the drama surrounding that seems to get me these days. For starters, the house we were set to move into next fall has fallen through, and now becky and I have a find another place soon. Sad story. Also, I have to get this huge job, or else it's back to good ol' Fazoli's or even worse, Gen X here in St.G (bleh). Anyway, the crucialness of this job is HUGE!!!!! If I get this one job, then I will be able to pay for school, some kind of housing, and even GET A CAR. (yes, you read it.) so, yep, pretty mcuh....
As for the wild world of boys, the summer is fast approaching, and the time for these Cedar boys is closing in on them. I don't talk to the Goshute so much anymore, and the cowboy is still around...with a huge possiblity, that seems to be getting bigger and bigger. (hmmm...) Sam the elemenatry school teacher comes in to work like, every day but what can you do? Anyway, with the usual topics covered, there's a pow-wow this saturday in Salt Lake. Heck yes.
Well, hopefully, i'll get back to this thinger soon...and all that jazz.
hagoone!

"Rambldee-gook", with flakes on the side.

So, this thing is kinds backwards, it seems like I have to change my passowrd everytime to get on. Oh well. Anyway, it snowed today--that is soo lame. Ew. I wish Cedar would just make up it's mind. ANyway, today, I just finished up my first senate meeting. It went so well. My year-long crush, Derek, has a girlfriend now, but it's cool. I decided that it's not the right time for me to have a boyfriend right now. For some reason...
It was the last straw today for a certain Goshute, Rob. He has once again, flaked out on me for a date. Yep, he's done. Talk about your Kiel, gosh! Also, I hung out with cowboy last night, heck yes. We watched Oceans 11. That goofy kid. He's cool and all...we'll have to see about that one.
My boss is trying to hook me up with one of his friends. His name is Sam, and he teaches the 2nd grade. Cute huh? anyway, he's funny I think...
Finals are creeping up, and i have a ton to do! It's gonna be a trip. I am sad though, because i'll be moving home, and away from such fun people! (Daniel, this means you.) Dangit! oh well, that's life for you. Anyway, that's the drama of the week, and i suppose i'll find my self in some dillema or another by Friday. anyway, hagoone!